My baby just wrote me a letter

Bob Morrissey

Several days after leaving (Emily), I emailed Mary before checking out of the (Heartbreak Hotel) where I was (drowning in my own tears). I had met (proud Mary) (down by the boardwalk) while she was walking her dog, (old Shep). That was about a month before Emily entered the picture.

Anyhow, Mary and I started dating and everything was fine until a month later, when I asked her to move in with me.

(“It’s impossible; )(my boyfriend’s back,”) she said.

“Boyfriend?” I was shocked. “You have a boyfriend? And you spring this on me now? (Your cheating heart.) What’s this guy’s name?”

(“Johnny Angel.”)

“You’ve gotta be kidding.”

When she noticed how (bewitched, bothered and bewildered) I was, she pleaded, (“Why don’t you believe me?” )

“Just forget it,” I shot back. (“Don’t worry about me.) (I get along without you very well.”)

That’s how we left things. Then I met Emily … (just in time), but what about Mary? Had she gotten back with Angel? Maybe she left town and was (on the road again).

A phone call was in order.

Turns out, Angel was (far away), out of the picture. Was it too late to get back (together, again)?

Had we become (just friends)? Were we now (strangers in the night)?

She hung up on me. And it wasn’t (only make believe).

I had to make things right again. Maybe a brief note, one ending with (P.S. I love you) would be a start.

Where to begin?

Dear Mary,

Please, beautiful (lady) take me back. Emily was (just one of those things). (Let’s take it nice and easy). I miss you so much. God, you’d be (so nice to come home to) and, yes, (I’ve grown accustomed to your face). (That’s the way love is.) Mary, (if ever I should leave you) I’d be lost (till the end of time).

I’ve changed. (Why don’t you believe me?) (You asked me if I love you), but (what is this thing called love?) And is it (the real McCoy)? I’ll even change jobs for you. I know you were disappointed when you found out (I cover the waterfront) for the local newspaper. Maybe we could go to (old Cape Cod); we could watch (red sails in the sunset) and I’d draw (love letters in the sand). We’d cuddle in (stormy weather) and (splish splash) in the surf.

And don’t forget all those nice boutiques on the cape. Which reminds me: remember the last time we went browsing? Remember that fantastic pet store where you wanted to know (how much is that doggy in the window)? Who says (money can’t buy me love)? And what about that beggar who asked me (“Brother can you spare a dime?”) (Oh, yes, I remember it well). Please (let me try again). Hopefully, (we can work it out). But (it’s not for me to say).

I mailed the note and a week later came her reply.

All it said was: (Someone’s knockin’ at my door.) And it’s not you.

(Bye bye blackbird.)